“Is this any good? Is it even worth doing? Am I any good? Should I trash it and become a lush? Give it up and sell shitty t-shirts at the beach boardwalk where asshole kids go to laugh at what’s on them and never buy? Do I even have a shot at doing that? What do you think?” I asked the dog.

“I think it’s alright pal. Don’t sell yourself short.” The dog said back.

“Thanks Tyrone. I appreciate the support. I just get so self-conscious about my work you know? Who the hell would read this?”

“I’ll read it, any time. I always have, and always will.” He said sitting on the floor in front of my desk.

“You’re too kind. That’s why you’re my best friend. I smiled.

“Anytime Charlie. Anytime.” His tail wagged. “Can we go out? I need to pee.”

“Yea, now’s a good time for a break anyway.” I got up and opened the front door. Tyrone didn’t need a leash, ever. We walked around a few blocks. We always went a different way. We both loved exploring something new and always seemed to find it, even in this old neighborhood we’d been in for years.

“I don’t get why other dogs piss on everything in sight.” Tyrone asked.

“Well, it’s because they’re marking their territory.” I responded.

“ No I get that. But why? Why would you want to keep track of all that though? It’s a losing battle. I’m okay peeing on a single spot. THAT’S my spot, right? I’m not into the rat race of keeping tabs on all your spots. You have to keep going back to every spot again and again to maintain it you know? I don’t get it. Too much work.”

“I never thought about it that way.” I said to him.

“I don’t even get why they want to. Just chill out man, we’re all just trying to get outside and run around and get fed. That’s all. What’s with the archaic territorial crap?”

“I thought it was instinctive, isn’t it? From the old days?”

“That’s all horseshit.”

“It’s a lie?”

“Yea. We can stop whenever we want. I did.”

“Wow, I never knew that.”

“Yea. Sniffing ass too. We don’t need to do that. We made it up.”

“But why?”

“To sniff ass! Duh.”

l laughed hard. Tyrone ran ahead and I chased him. He was having a good time.

“Let’s go back and finish what you started.” He said.

“Well, I don’t know if I’ll finish, but we can get some more done.” I said.

We got back into our place and I sat back down at my desk. Tyrone drank some water and came back in to lay on the brown leather couch to motivate me, or perhaps make me feel guilty for procrastinating.

“I’m not even half done and I’m stuck. I’m so useless. I’m an unmotivated, washed up, never-been.”

“Instead of a has-been?” Tyrone asked.

“Yes, I never was, in my case.” I sat back in my chair.

“Jesus Charlie, come on, you never WILL BE if you don’t try.”

“She left. She’s gone Ty. What’s the point?” I put my head on the desk.

“It was 2 years ago for christ sake man, get yourself together.”

‘But I haven’t been motivated since!”

“That’s just your excuse. You need to get yourself together, pick yourself up and move on. Or else you WILL end up a loser. You’re not yet, but you’re getting there. All this sad sack shit isn’t benefiting anyone Charlie. Whose gonna pay the bills? It’s going to get cold soon! Whose going to buy me dog food? I sure as hell can’t. Get your shit together, finish the story, and post it! Tomorrow, you’ll spend the day advertising it. Even if it’s shit, you’ll have finished and it’s a start. Next go around you can put out a better one. But you can’t get there until you start.”

“Fuck, you’re totally right.” I said, shaking my head, picking it up to look at him with my sad eyes.

“Let’s get a pizza.” I said.

“NO! No fucking PIZZA! Did you hear what I just said? Get this done!”

“Alright! Alright! I’ll try to finish it.”

“NO TRYING Charlie, DO!” He barked at me.

“Don’t do that! You’re so loud.”

“Shut up and type.”

I typed. I finally got into a groove and got a good chunk of it done over the next four hours, into the dead of night with the crickets. It was midnight when i looked back up to see Tyrone passed out on the couch.

“I got it!” I yelled, Tyrone jumped awake.

“What the fuck Charlie. I was sleeping good for once. I wasn’t even snoring.”

“How would you know?” I asked.

“You would’ve yelled at me.” He was right.

“I got a groove going and I got the story now.”

“Let me hear it.” Tyrone said.

“Let me finish it, I’m in a groove and I can picture the end.”

“Yea but what if it’s shit?”

“You told me earlier it didn’t matter.”

“Yeah, but a good proof read and a little time to sit on it won’t hurt. I’ll just give you a few critiques.”

“What if you don’t like it though, I’ll just go back to thinking I’m no damn good.”

“I’m not going to say anything like that, I’m sure I’ll love it. Just read it to me.”

“Can you let me just finish it instead? That way even if you don’t like it I can just put it out. It’ll be harder to finish if you don’t like it.”

“No, I’m ready now. Just show me. Please.”

“Ugh, alright.” I turned the screen and he squinted from the couch.

Tyrone began reciting out loud. “Is this any good? Is it even worth doing? Am I any good? Should I trash it and become a lu…” He looked at me.

“Charlie, this is just what you said earlier, verbatim. This is the beginning of the story?”

“Exactly. Genius, right?!?” He tilted his head.

“So, what’s it about?”

“It’s about a writer, with a dog who can talk, who critiques his paper. It’s all meta!”

“Charlie, this is shit.”

“Fuck you! Fuck you Tyrone! If you’re not shitting on the floor you’re shitting on my parade! Get the fuck out of here! Nobody wants your stupid fucking opinion! Dumb dog.”

Charlie got up and shooed the dog off the chair and out the door.

“Good luck with your shitty story Charlie, no one’s going to buy it!”

I slammed the door behind him and paced. I thought for a moment, then sat down.

“Yeah, yeah! I’ll use that too!”

I began typing.