It's been mighty a month since I sat, drank, and written about it in the way I might do as I drink. No time to sit and spit it out some as I get cool. Let's.

        - 6:12 - I get up from reading, it's been a while since I read in bed if it's not right before bed. I get the itch. I get up, open my bag of goods. It's got 3 important things. 1. A laptop for writing. 2. A bottle. 3. Mix. An arnie. A dirty arnie. It's been months since I mixed it with arnie. Is that what i called it? it's been months since that post, perhaps a year.

I put the bottle under the cubby in the bedside table. There's still about 1/8 of the same bottle left. I put the other away and crack open the old one first. Pour, mixer too. I need ice. Lots, but none can be had. The drunker I have the less I'll care. 

           I grab my laptop and being pecking away. Here I am. In all my glory. Nothing to do but drink and write. nothing to do, nothing to have to do. Even my guitars are away at daycare. No, the vet. Guitar vet. They're being loved and cared for right now. 

        Work is okay. People are beginning to know me, and like me. Thank. fucking. god. 

I smell dinner. Shake and Bake. No, that's what's for dinner. There's a 13yr old here. Her parent's are off somewhere. I haven't met her yet as far as I know. I also haven't told you where I am yet. nor will I. In a nowhere land as usual. Everywhere is though, isn't it? 

           6:18 - perhap's i'll reflect some more on the year past as the night moves. If it moves. It will. Slowly or quickly, but it will. 

I've put on some weight. 10lbs. I can feel it. See it too. It's been 2 years now since I felt that way. Actually nearly to the day. I got a notification from a memory. Long story short i recall the day and saw myself in a video (that was being taken that day) and said dayum son. Fuck. I'm working on it. It's also been about 4 months since the cemetery. I sit most days. Stuffing my face with trash. Not too much. but just...lots of food. Not too much, but enough. I'm not as active, so that combo will do you in. 

           6:27 - Did i mention I fucking downloaded snapchat? WTF is wrong with me. I told myself never. EVER AGAIN. But here I am. All for a lady friend. She seems pretty cool. And although I have a steadfast hatred for Snap, (yea, snap) I told her why and she rebuttled with the fact that she doesn't know how to social media and her friends got her too. So I feel better. 

Last night was kind of big. I asked her out. We had a huge conversation late night Sunday, not much since because we've been busy. So hopefully if I don't fuck anything up before we set plans. 

      6:35 - God damnit. Here I go. Sad feeling just got real. I started thinking thinky things. I'm not even drunk yet. I've had a few sips. No food yet. But god damnit. I'm going to try to stop this sad train rolling. The sad reminiscent train. Fuck. The, "Why are you such a fucking asshole?" train. 

    Perhaps if I get the chance, I won't fuck this up. She's pretty cool. She trains horses. She's legit, the real deal. Blunt as fuck. Thank god.