Well, it’ll be a motion picture film linear processor. Sounds big, but basically the “motion picture” part differentiates or specifies the type of film. We’re talking “film” as in motion pictures. super 8, 16mm etc. Not as in still photography. And Linear processor meaning a more industry approach to developing this film. Most people at home use what are called LOMO tanks. These tanks are old Russian molded tanks containing a plastic reel within. The film is spooled around it, back into the light-tight tank and then all the chemicals are added just as a Patterson tank. These tanks are old and don’t produce an image as clean as what a linear processor produces. (If built correctly.) Yes you can get clean images from them, but it’s tougher to do, meticulous.

A linear processor is what professional labs use. However, there is no such thing as a portable linear processor. It’s near impossible to get any type of linear processor, and there is next to no information on building your own online. Thankfully, there is one German gentleman who documented his process through a blog type post over ten years ago. Another guy in the Ukraine built a reproduction of a smaller unit a few years ago. There’s less info on it and only a quick montage of the assembly. There’s a guy who made the “Shaffer Linear Processor” out of PVC tubes. He’s got the most detailed assembly guide, although his website isn’t complete and I don’t think he’s done much lately. It’s primitive looking, and there is little as far as scanning results anywhere I could see. But he has provided valuable 3D printer files for parts and so on.

So I’ve been inspired to make something combining these three iterations, and the few videos online I can find from film processor labs. Anything still running now is from the 70’s or handmade. I’ve got a photo printed out (who does that anymore?) on my wall now for inspiration. They made a portable one in the 60’s. Also Eastman made the “Viscomat” in 1965, a refrigerator style version. Not quite portable, but for small runs.

It’s going to be in phases…

PHASE I: Clean out and rearrange the basement area. Seems straightforward enough, but there’s a lot of work involved. There’s an L-shaped shelf where I want to work, and I can’t move it without taking it apart. It was built for the space so I’m finding it impossible to twist around. Unfortunate, but necessary. Aside from the obvious moving of crap and boxes, I need to relocate the kitty-litter to under the stairs, which will require a cat door, (really a dog door for their sizes) and relocating most everything under the stairs. We have a garage, but I detest the notion of using a garage for anything but a garage and some shelves.

The last part of this phase is the water line. The one thing deterring me in any of this is that I’m no plumber, and I’m not about to cut into the lines for this project not knowing what I’m doing. BUT, the washer and dryer lines have threads and shut-offs, so I believe I can simply buy an adapter and basically stead from those lines, running hoses and not having to deal at all with cutting or soldering copper. That’s the idea anyway. Once I realized it was possible to run water with hoses and connectors, I realized this was very possible.

PHASE II: I’m using this phase to point out my clever and shameless use of roman numerals. Phase 2 (haha) is to build it. Literally all I’ve got planned for this aside from ideas in my head and things in an Amazon list is, FUNCTIONAL MODEL. It can be as ugly as sin, as big as a bus, as noisy as hell, as long as it’s functional. This is simply to make a successful linear processor where the end result is a success. Success will be measured in that it’s clean, processed (developed) correctly. “Processed” is fancy speak for going through the development process start to finish. I’m also teaching here! Who knew? I might as well quit and become a studious college professor.

Anywho, If the end result is a sustainable, reliable image, that I can re-create faithfully time and time again, then I will embark on phase III. I believe phase II is where most of my time will be spent.

PHASE III: Create a PORTABLE model. Pick it up, throw it in the trunk, throw it at your TV, pretend it’s a briefcase, or an extra shelf for that mail. A portable mail carrier! This is self-explanatory. Shrink it, make it portable. L&F, a company that has since gone defunct at an unknown date, presumably in the mid 20th century made one. I’m sure a lot of places made these. It’s literally been done before. That’s what’s pissed me off so much. Can I say that? Hell, I just did. This is my show dammit! Thankfully some bored poor soul (but thankfully for me) saved a PDF of the print advertisement for this portable processor. I’ve got it sitting in front of me as I type. It angers me.

It’s already been DONE! Why am I here? Shouldn’t we be just buying this from some company?

It’s all a double-edged sword, whatever that means. There’s moments of incredible inspiration and hope when I find yet another new video or piece of valuable info online. But more there’s discouragement. On the same hand you’ll find forums and comments about how near impossible it is to get a decent image from something like this. If you can’t get lab quality, what’s the point? My point exactly. You can get usable images, even decent, but there’s always scratched and blotches on the film, defects. Which is fine for a camera test, but the point is to produce a beautiful lab-quality image to BYPASS the lab. To give people a sustainable way to reliably recreate quality images time and time again at home.

It costs, at minimum, $50 for a roll of 16mm. Then, to process (develop) and scan to digital, it’s $80. This is $35 for processing, $40 for a BASIC scan at 720p, not even full HD. They charge more for higher resolutions. (It’s a more lengthy process in the machine) So to get a 2K scan, you’re paying $60, adding $20. (Now close to $100 just to see it) This does not include shipping, providing a USB or hard drive for the film, and you’re waiting close to a month at times (still waiting now) to get anything back. All to find out your camera is shite or something went wrong. UGH. So all in all, roughly $150-$200 for 3.5 minutes of film that hopefully, you did some good with. Unfortunately, Super 8 is not much cheaper considering it’s smaller format. $33 a roll, $50-70 development etc, so you’re paying $100 for roughly the same amount of runtime. Oi vay.

There’s got to be a better way. Film is expensive. The analog film movement for motion picture has seen an uptick in interest over the last few years, but it may never see any kind of resurgence as it once was. That being said, there has been a resurgence. Enough so that Kodak was carried out of bankruptcy, and continues to make Super 8, 16mm and 35mm. Thank god for that. Ilford still makes various black and white stocks, and smaller manufacturers exist. I’m not sure exactly how Kodak made it out, aside from major Hollywood directors vowing to continue to use film for years to come. But after a few really bad years and discontinuing a few film stocks, they rebuilt their factory to better accommodate the new, smaller demand.

Despite this, there has still been a massive gap in businesses who used to build accessories to further enable the film community. Scanners, developing mechanisms, etc.

So it’s time.