I’ll be posting about my record, now in physical form and about my two books. I did once, but I wasn’t pushing any of it much. Now the momentum’s gone but that’s okay. I’m in some kind of transitional period and have no idea where it’ll go. Or perhaps that’s what I’m telling myself.
I’ve accomplished a hell of a lot in the last few months of 2018. But I still don’t feel validated enough for it to mean much. I’d like to sell a few, that’d be nice. Create some kind of following. I don’t know. 2019 I’ll start up the podcast. I’ll do it! I swear. Slow going. I need something else. I need an extra push. I’m still struggling and need an extra push. You know what I mean. I feel empty and unfulfilled because I’m not making money via art. None at all. I don’t need total validation in that form, just enough where I feel I’m accomplishing something, contributing something. So I don’t feel like I’m just another content mill of trash filling the vast dumpster that is the internet when it comes to artists and writers pushing horrible shit.
I was listening the radio on an hour trip a few days back. Fine, NPR, I said it. Bu they played this program and a guy was just orating a piece of fiction written by some fucking writer. Some guy. It wasn’t Carnegie Hall, but it was some kind of popular and somewhat large venue in New York. And the two stories, the second told by someone else, they were trash. The stories were about an older guy who owned a burrito shop who sold out to hipsters and advertised the “5 pound burrito” and began seeing his customers and employees as aliens, chickens, hogs and other animals. The other, about a “millennial who bought a dog.” She couldn’t afford, nor could she take care of it or even fit to take care of herself, but did it anyway. Wow. The standards are so god damn low.
It was argued that it’s all subjective. Also, the writing concise and orated by “professionals” whatever that means, in a lively manner. But at their core, they were two stories with no substance. They had arcs, a “moral to the story” but so god damn boring and certainly not deserving of being told in a public fashion at a respected theater broadcast on the radio or even recorded. What the fuck? I was even on board with the burrito story minus the guy reading it out loud, until out of nowhere he started seeing other humans as anything but. He went into detail about seeing the guy who drops his produce off as a rooster, then a hog and an alien. All of his customers. For no fucking reason. What the fuck is that. Deserving of praise in a large way? Anyone can write shit like that.
Is that what people want?