Let's post something positive ay? I dislike that the commonly accepted way to type that is "eh" Like Canadians. Dirty Canadians. At least I think that's how it's commonly typed. For instance, "Can you go down to the package store to get us some brews on this cold night eh?" Fuck that. Dirty Canadians. They probably came up with how to type that damn phrase. Or sound. Whatever they call it. It's 'Ay' not 'eh'. Type it how it sounds.
"eh" to me is more like, "Do you want Chinese tonight?" He asked. "Eh." she responded. "I'd rather stare lovingly into your eyes by the fire in this wonderful den located in the heavily wooded forest in this cabin we've rented for the weekend. We can stare and stare our hunger away until we both fall asleep in each other's loving, warm, starving embrace. We'll wake up, at the same moment, still staring into each other's eyes. Our bodies won't yet be awake so we'll feel no pain. We'll sit up and stare out of this wonderfully huge bay window before us looking over the lake at the quietly calm waters. You'll get up, trip over the coffee table. But it's cute, because the coffee table is beautifully handcrafted straight from a tree outside the cabin in 1927. It's literally a cross section from a tree, stained, with branch pieces for the legs. We know it's from 1927 because there's a cool plaque on the wall that says so. Also a crafty booklet the owner made about the history. The coffee table also contains a candle, scented vanilla. I like the scent of pine tree better, but since they're all around, that'd be pointless. It also has my sweater on it, yours too. We're on a really cool futon that fits the cabin perfectly.
You like the scent of vanilla better. Now you're jumping around as you've stubbed your toe. You hobble over to the big window. You squint at first as your eyes are still adjusting to the light coming off the enormous lake. You don't hear me, but I come up behind you and grab you. I look up at you, and you smile. I smile. We both smile a smiley smile. Your toe still hurts. But you've forgotten all about it. We've forgotten all about everything. It's the perfect temperature. It's the perfect day. It's the middle of fall and it's unusually warm. The leaves are all kinds of colors. Bright and Vibrant. Yellow, Orange, amber, deep red. Some are still green. Some are gone. Some are dead and chopped up and stumps. Like the stump long gone from that coffee table you stubbed your toe on. Damn that table. Fuck that table.
We're now next to each other with your arm around me; mine on your back. I look back at the table. I bet it wouldn't even hold a person. Stupid table. Stupid fucking table. That table hurt you. I hate that table. Fuck that table. FUCK that stupid dumb ass coffee table. I bet if if I were to sit on it right now it'd break. I bet if we fucked on that shitty coffee table we'd snap it in half. Someone made that dumb thing. I guess back before IKEA. Fuck IKEA too. Making everyone's dumbass apartment look the same, like they're fancy. IKEA is shit. But it's kinda that post modern look. Or whatever. Back to this handcrafted, beautifully cut coffee table. Fuck that table. You look down at me, I'm still looking at the table. 'What's up?' you ask. 'Oh nothing.' I look back at you and smile. I give the table one last dirty look, then back at you, staring off into the lake, then the lake. Fuck that table.
'What do you want to do today?' I ask, squeezing my arm around you. 'Hmm, well there's some cool trails around here I want to explore if you're up to it.' You say. 'Sure! let's do it. Maybe we'll run into a rabid raccoon or a moose or a homeless guy and get mauled and maimed and be one of those cool folklore stories 20 years from now!' I say. 'Yassss. That'd make my life.' You say. 'It'd end your life idiot.' I say. You push me jokingly as we laugh. 'That's why i love you. Shithead.' You say as we kiss.
You turn to me fully, away from the window, kissing. We're now backing up, closer and closer. Closer to the coffee table. You back me up all the way into the coffee table and I sit on it. You follow me and now we're lying on the coffee table. It doesn't budge. I shove the sweater and the candle and all the other crap off the table in a frenzy as we're completely on this coffee table now. Which is definitely not from IKEA. You're on top of me and I look up and you're staring right at me and deep into my eyes and you smile at me and I bite my lip because I think this might be the most sexiest thing we've ever done. Your eyes look incredibly blue in the soft daylight from the window as it bounces off the wooden walls of the cabin. I can't help but smile and it makes me want to cry as I am so happy. You give me this look and say, "You're so fucking amazing." I roll my eyes. You begin to lean down to kiss me and I close my ey..."
"So do you fucking want Chinese or not?" He asked. "What?" she asked. "Did you seriously just spend the last 10 minutes telling me this story when we could've ordered already?" "I don't want Chinese." She said. "Fine, what do you want then? Pizza? Subs? Rings? Pasta?"
She ignored him.