Attempt

I'm making an attempt to make amends. But all I usually get is ripped open wounds and scars. 

      I receive and cause boiled up memories buried in people's unconsciousness. Deep Space. 

            It never turns out as planned. But does it ever? I think it's going to be some epic culmination of reuniting and rekindled friendships. But all that comes is depressing outcomes, shoulder shrugs, let-downs, built up and disappointed "yea it's whatever. Long time ago's." and "Hey we've all been there, water under the bridge." Which is nice, but things never continue where they left off. 

          They accept my apology and attempt, and that's it. Things go back to how it's been. Never speaking. Never talking, just, ackwardness. So be it. I suppose it's selfish. But the attempt is valiant, isn't it? 

          Me, reaching out, apologizing, saying what I've done wrong and that I acknowledge it. Who does that these days? After all this time? Nobody does. But it's never as it should be. The effort isn't taken at all. Which is their choice because of what I've done. It's my bed to lie in. 

              So should I continue on my tour of amends? Or stop because it's pointless? 

     I'm not sure.