Looking

I get it from my great grandfather. I watch, I look. I can't help it. I can. not. Help. It. 

            It's a problem. 

           I'm at a corner desk at a common through-way.  The stairs are right around the corner, as well as being surrounded by a lot of folks who are visited. Also a conference room is around the corner people schedule. So all day, people are walking to and from. They come around a corner and there I am. In my uncovered windowed glory. I can't help but be drawn to the movement. My brain says, "LOOK AT THIS THING!" and I do involuntarily. It's an issue. 

           People come around the corner and there I am most times, staring at them. Oh! I forgot, the printer for this area is within eye-view. (I typed "nearly forgot" first, then corrected. Ask me about that philosophy) So I'm always drawn and cannot help and my eyes dart up to who is coming around the corner or walking away. 

               The other side of this, is that I am incessant people-watcher. I love watching people and their natural state of things around here. Where they're going or talking about or how their face is or how gorgeous or odd looking they are. Why do they have a scowl or smile on? Why do they always look sad? Is that their natural expression or are they under a great deal of stress? I love going through these stories in my head and thinking pretty deeply what might be going on. i get lost. 

                This would be fine, except two things. 1. Work suffers. 2. I lock eyes, A LOT. I accidentally catch others who are coming around the corner, watching me! Or catching my eyes accidentally in return, I am the first thing you see when you come around the corner. I look at them and we have a silent, "oh shit sorry" moment. You know the one. But the even larger issue is that people who frequent their routes daily around my desk, most likely have notions as to what the hell I'm doing.

           For instance, a few people who walk together, a man and woman. No idea who they are or what they do but I DO  know they have way more responsibilities than I and get payed more. But I always ALWAYS accidentally stare when they stare back and I can see in their eyes they have their opinions of me. They talk quietly under their breath and I can feeeeeelll it's about me some of the time.

          Well, that's it. I watch and I probably come off an awkward watcher. Whatever. I am.