This weekend I fucked up. Not directly but kind of.

Friday I caved and bought more 151. The first time in a few weeks. Since the work incident. I didn't open it Friday though. I brought it back to my room and never opened it, I went out. Saturday I didn't drink, then I went out. I had the urge to drink. But realized I didn't have the bottle with me. So I went out and bought another. I now have two, 2 dose, II that's 2 full bottles of Cruzan 151 Rum. Saturday night I got messed up some good. Not crazy. But a little. Tonight I dig into my unopened room bottle.

What the fuck is wrong with me? Well, a lot. I don't think i'm in the right mental state to be drinking again, as the last time i got royally fucked I was well... at work. I haven't had the hankering or urge to since really, but it's back in force now. It's not really enjoyable anymore, or at least at the moment. It's to drown pain. Which is dangerous. I get dangerous. In the artistic way. I banged out this whole post in 3 minutes to now. I posted a bunch and scheduled more on my music page. It's Sunday. I'm getting cocked on a Sunday.

151 eats through plastic and eats through ice like it's candy to a kid. BAM gone. My drink is back to warm again. I'm putting this in my body. I'm fucked.

Cruzan for a bruising.