A few nights later I'm driving around. Boston is a shit show and not my cup of tea to cruise around. So I go to the north shore. It's just as busy, but more suburban and easier to navigate. Not as hectic. I'm making usual rounds to the bars as the night moves. It's all on the water and the breeze makes it feel perfect. I love riding around downtown Salem as my favorite restaurant I never go to is there. I deprive myself of the things I love most because I enjoy them better that way and it's delightful and fresh when i DO experience them. Movies for instance, I don't watch my favorite films more than once a year if that. Why over do it?
Same with Howling Wolf. It's a local-run Mexican place in the center of the city. It's got the greatest atmosphere. You walk in, and the walls are painted a dark purple with big windows ceiling to floor on the street side. Paintings everywhere there's open wall space. Local artists. strings of lights are run and hang down from the ceiling, they're blasting a custom playlist. They play Eminence front by the Who, Born in the 50's by the Police, copious amounts of Joe Jackson, Badfinger, Meatloaf, Randy Newman, Heart, Elvis, Bruce, Dawes, things I've never heard of and plan on listening to in the future. It's so amazing. The food is fresh, authentic and wonderfully priced and the portions are as their plates are named. "The Hungry Wolf" a Chimichanga drizzled with hot queso and beans, diced tomato and lettuce on the side. It's gigantic. I walk out of there with a smile every time.
But I don't go. Why go by yourself? I only go when I can take someone and introduce them to the place. That hasn't happened in a long time, and the few times I had the chance, we weren't about to wait for 45 min to be seated. So I haven't been in a few years. But I do however enjoy picking people up from there from time to time.
This particular evening, around 11, I got pinged and a group of girls came up, they seemed drunk so I was preparing myself for an interesting ride. But instead, one of them, looking in her early twenties, was crying and her friends were helping her. They opened the door.
"Hi!" They all said, helping her get in. She didn't say anything. She was sobbing. "You have your phone? Ok, call us when you're there!" They said. I had my window open. "She's alright, she's just having a tough time. You're headed to her house. She's got someone waiting." One of them said from outside. "Uh, yea sure thing." I look back, she hasn't said a thing. I start the app and pull out. The music is very low so it's a bit awkward. I can't think of what to say to break the silence.
This situation happens all the time. I'm not a very outgoing person but driving people around has gotten me out of my shell a bit. At least attempting to break the ice for a conversation if they're up for it to let them take off with it with some stock openers I have. But sometimes, I freeze or I'm in a tricky spot I need to navigate out of quickly, so I don't have time right away to say hi. There's a statute of limitation with this for sure. If I wait more than a minute or two and there's total silence, the rest of the ride is pretty quiet. It's incredibly uncomfortable saying "hi how's it going?" Halfway through the ride. But she was sobbing and i desperately wanted to offer her some tissues or ask what was going on.
I told myself, "right after I get onto the main road, I'll ask. Then, "right after I get onto the highway, I'll ask. I'll say it then, yea." But it never happened. A minute, two, five, then ten went by. We were going quite a ways too. I caught glimpses in the rear-view when I could. Her eyes were beat red from the tears and her nose was running. She had nothing and was wiping her nose on her sleeve. Poor thing. I felt terrible. I desperately wanted to help or talk. Anything, even crack a joke. I couldn't, I froze. i don't know why. We were going from Salem to Boston and I was mostly silent. I couldn't even turn the radio up much as I thought it'd be rude. I fretted the whole time, figuring, "fuck it, why? What's the harm, I'm gonna say something. Yea, I'm gonna do it. right now. No, right now. no, in two minutes." This continued the whole ride.
About twenty minutes in it hit me. "Are you okay? I got some napkins if you want." I finally mustered the courage. I was relieved. With tissues in my hand I looked back. She was passed out. Not asleep, I mean passed out. She was contorted all kinds of ways slumped as she was.
"Of course." I thought. I finally say something, and she can't hear me. This situation pretty much sums it up. I kicked the music up a bit, she wasn't waking up any time soon. I sulked in my failure to connect as I tried taking every brake and turn with ease so not to wake her. I can appreciate a car nap because I can't do it myself. I do what I can.
Finally we arrived. I slowly stop in front of what I believe is her place. I look back, "hey there, we're here." No response. I clear my throat. Not even a twitch. "Hey we're here Joyce." Her name was Joyce, or I hope. I couldn't remember if she called the ride or a friend had. She hadn't budged. I reached back, I gently shook her shoe. Her legs were under her as she had curled up and her feet were sticking out. I figured that was the best appropriate course of action. Not too creepy. "Hey there, we're here now." She shifted a bit. But insisted on sleeping. As intoxicated people do.
"Mother fucker." I mumbled. I was getting annoyed now. I shook her foot a bit more now. "HEY! Joyce! Jooyyycee! Hellooo? Wake up!" She finally lifted her arms and rubbed her eyes. She opened them and saw me staring right at her. "Oh shiiiittt." She drunkenly mumbled. "We're back?" "yea, sorry, you fell asleep." I told her. "No haha, I passed the fuck out! There's a difference!" She responded. Cute. "Shit I'm sorry. How long was I out?" "The whole ride pretty much, it's not a big deal, I'm glad you're alright." I said.
She took a huge breath through her nose, preparing the open the door. The way she did, you'd of thought she was about to enter a lion's den or ride a bull or jump a cliff. She reached for the door. Naturally it took her a second to find the handle. She found it and yanked and she fell out head-first onto the sidewalk as she was leaning all her weight on the door. "Found it!" She yelled from the ground. "Fucking hell!" I got out and ran over. She was writhing on the ground, her legs still on the back seat. The door fell shut on her legs as she swayed around, she felt nothing. "Are you alright? You hit your head?" I knelt beside her. She opened her eyes with a smirk on her face. She pointed up touching my nose. "You're drrruunkK!" She yelled, amplifying as she finished. I looked around, it was late. I smiled back at her, she was okay. "No, you're drunk. Come on, lets get you up." She threw her arms up and I lifted her. She attempted to stand with her legs, but to no avail at first. She held herself up for a second, long enough for me to close the door in confidence, but as I let her go she immediately stumbled over herself and fell into me. Thankfully I was prepared. I brought her slowly back down to the pavement, her back against my car. "fuck." she said. "I don't think I can waallk man." "I see that!" I was still being polite, but the fake, "service with a smile" part was waning quickly. I let it go just then to be blunt. I don't think she'd remember or mind.
"Okay, where's your place. Joyce right?" I asked. "noooo, Moe." Joyce is my friend. Fuck her." "Wait, Moe?" I asked. "Psshhh fine, Marie, it's Marie, but Marie's a bitch-ass name so now it's Moe." She turned her head and rolled her eyes as if I uncovered a deep dark secret she was ashamed of. "Alright, Moe it is. Nothing wrong with that, just wondering. Nice to meet you Moe."
"Is it though? She pursed her lips, she was sad again. Sad from whatever it was before, and sad because she was drunk. Drunk as fuck. Drunk as all hell. This was beginning to become a problem. "Do you need help getting into your apartment?" "YES! MOST CERTAINLY." She said. "Big strong mannnnn. Like yourshellfffff." She harped on the F, carrying it far longer than necessary. Okay, can you tell me where it is? Direct me?" "I'm not an idiot you idiot. YAS! It's that. THAT. That right there. She pointed in front of where we were. Thank the lord we weren't far.
"Okay, is there anyone home to come get you?" I asked. "NO! NO!" She snapped back and sober for a moment. "Nobody is home and nobody I can call. My phone's dead because you didn't have a fuggin, charger anyway." She slurred.
"You never asked." I told her. I looked up, there were a few stairs, and two doors to get through. I looked back at her. "Nobody at all?" I asked again. "No! Can't tell anyyone! Not a souuuull." She put her finger to her lips, "ShhhhhHH!" I did the same to let her know I understood. "Fine, uh, so do you thi..." "JUST FUCKING CARRY ME!" She cut me off. Once again, I can't cut to the chase.
"You fucking asked." I said, I lifted her up by the arms again, I took a breath, and swept her up as she yelped. Okay, now I'm carrying this woman, who I don't know for shit, drunk, and into her empty apartment. Lovely. Yes, this looks good. I headed slowly for the door.
"Big strong mannnnn." She began talking as she was right there. I shook my head at her. "Don't." I said. "Can you open the door?" I asked her. "Suuuurreee." I got up the steps and she fumbled for it until she found the handle, twisted it and yanked it into herself. I caught it with my foot and kicked it open. She opened the second one and it swung inward. We were in.
Pitch black. "Where to now?" I asked, trying to avoid banging her into walls. "Anywhere!" She threw her arms and yelled in excitement.
"What the fuck." I said softly and waited till my eyes adjusted. "No seriously where the fuck is your room?" "Oooohh. You want to see my room do you?" She winked over-obviously, still in my arms. "Oh god, not like that. Just tell me will you?"
"oh you're no fun!" She rolled her eyes. That way! She pointed, excited again. I carried her that way, turned so I could get her in the room, and thankfully found the switch on the wall which I hit with my elbow. Before I could take in the room I lowered her slowly on the bed, her arms around my head the last thing she let go before finally sprawling out on her back. She squirmed in the comfort of what she realized was her bed, her eyes closed. Her arms reached up finding the soft pillows and velvet comforter she was on. I adjusted myself as I looked around.
"Make yourself at home!" She said without opening an eye, sensing I was still there. Her walls a pretty pale red. Posters and pictures littered the walls but in a classy and logistical way. The posters all framed, spaced out. Like she cherished and respected each one. Mostly bands, tour posters, but some film posters as well. Angel Olsen, Blondie, Fleetwood Mac, The Smiths to name a few. The Blues Brothers, Pulp Fiction...
"Wait, Drive. You like Drive? I've never met anyone who was into that movie." I walked over to the poster. "yeppp. Fuggin loooovvee that movie. i watched it twice in a row the first time I saw it in the theatre." I looked back at her still lying on the bed, her hand in the air wisping around as if to signify elegance and beauty. "It's such an underrated film." I say.
I looked back. "Jesus!" She had several nips sprawled across her bed, one bottom up in her mouth being emptied as she laid there. "That's probably not a great idea." "Shut the fuck up. Pussy cat." She snarled. "Fine, alright. So uh, glad you're alright. I'm gonna go. Hope you have a good rest of your night!" I faked a smile and headed out the door. She didn't say a word.
As I did I got pinged again for another ride. I cancelled it. I needed to collect myself after this one. I walked around to the driver side when i heard a knock. I looked over at the house. She was there, in the window knocking on it. Empty nip still in her mouth. She was furiously waving for me to go in. I shook my head. "no way." I went for the door. She knocked again, I stopped and looked and she was trying to open the window. Looking at me with puppy dog eyes.
I looked around. "Fuck." I looked back. She stopped, staring at me now. I looked right at her. She pushed the nip bottle against the window and let it fall out of her lips as it toppled down on her. "HA! I keeled over a bit and we shared a laugh through the air. I looked back and she had a hand against the window. I gave her a wry smile. "FUCK!" I shook my head. I walked back. "What the fuck am I doing?" I said to myself. I opened the door.