I was in the kitchen at work. The cleaning guy was in there emptying a trash barrel. He speaks spanish. I've heard him talk and it doesn't sound like he speaks much english. I was walking past him and he sneezed, twice. He didn't look up, but I looked back at him and didn't say bless you.

I didn't say it. I had two chances too. He sneezed, twice. Twice. Twice he sneezed. This man sneezed twice with 3 people in the kitchen (i was closest) and I didn't say bless you or god bless you or salut (espanol version of bless you) or gesundheit (german?) or anything. i didn't even acknowledge it other than in my own head. I just walked by. I let this man down.

I left him all by himself. This man needed someone. He needed a bless you. Jeebus what's wrong with me? Not only did I let someone down, but I put myself above this guy. The help, and I. That's not how it's supposed to be. I am beating myself so, because I'm pretty sure I would've said bless you had it been someone else. But I left it because I didn't know how to say it to a guy who spoke spanish and who probably thinks of himself as underneath. Not because he was per say, but because I didn't want to intrude on that? Does that make sense?

In any case, I immediately regretted not saying anything to him as he sneezed with immense silence following. I took 3 steps and thought, "What a fucking asshole I am, what the fuck is wrong with me!?" But what do I do? Return, now the time awkwardly passed, to go back and say, "Bless you sir!" That'd be strange. The time had passed and I let him down and myself down for being such a dick. I'm better than this. I'm not above anybody. But these thoughts don't change a damn thing. I'm no better than my actions.

Save me Jeebus Cribbs. Save my soul. I am sorry.

Bless you. Bless you. Bless you.