I can't understand people right now. It amazes me and I somehow have to shake my head at people. I know it's wr huh uong. But vtries too hard. it's amazing how everybody tries so hard and long at their career and MUST be something and live, breath and well, mainly advertise. I suppose that's the part that bothers me.
alright I get it, you want nothing more than to be THIS. tell the world, validate yourself by telling the world. Tell the world you're going to be the best and tell the world that's what you're going to do. Try so Fucking hard alllll the time. Or come off that way to everybody.
It baffles me how EVERYBODY has something they're trying to BE so hard and it encompasses their life with no breaks or so they want or seem. Careers, dreams, goals. Good. Good for you. Do that thing. Do nothing else. Don't enjoy life or take a walk. You're all too busy to go out and people watch or go explore anything or sit and write about your day on a bench or learn saxophone or actually stop, and notice you're alive, stop and take notice in the mundane tasks you take for granted. Everybody's so busy with themselves all the time. You'll all work so hard so long you'll wake up and you'll have your midlife crisis. The worst of it though is that most of it is spent jerking off! Telling, showing, seeming you're so fucking busy. It's a rite of passage, a fucking pastime, par for the course, a socially accepted practice to get pat on the back for, keep busy, stay busy.
take a fucking break. You're all doing and trying too fucking much. Trying to BE somebody.
. Me? Yea I used to want, try, think and do. I head dreams and gojals. But I can only sit here stunned in amazement at everybody who is trying around me. Because right now I'm doing all I can to keep my head above water and eyes opening. Too much has happened and too much has changed and too much has been taken and too many dreams dashed and plans scrapped and visions torn. Life has beaten me and continues to beat so fiercely that I can't even fathom waking up tomorrow to face the day, let alone fathom chasing something like fucking hopes and dreams.
I don't get it.
"Don't try." - Bukowski