Everybody's furiously typing away.
It's pretty quiet here for a rainy Monday. Very. But perhaps everyone's tired because of the weather, I know I am. It's just odd. Why elongate the weekend if you can't go out. Then again, I barely got out.
Everybody's furiously typing and I don't get it. The only time I furiously type is when i have an idea in my head and I can't get the words out as quickly as my brain is moving on to the next 20 sentences I want. I'll lose it if not. I DO lose many. It's a matter of how many will I capture while the story or sequence is floating around in my head. Sometimes I get them all, rarely, but sometimes. This dictates if I finish most things unfortunately. This goes with my phases post (did I post that, or have I been believing I wrote it?). If I have an idea, I'll furiously go through a micro-phase of furious writing. Until I get to a crossroads and my brain doesn't know where it should go, so I get bored with it and put it down for "later". Which usually means never, unless by some miracle I'm inspired to continue.
But on the macro level, there's a phase. A macro-phase where I lose interest in the whole idea all together. See, I'll love an idea for months and months, I'll even be in a writing phase for all that time, just not a focused one. It'll be all writing sure, just not on that one thing. Take for instance this book idea. I was writing a book about a Lyft driver and his adventures. The minute it had to become a reality, I got discouraged, because it became a chore. It became work. But I wrote my ass off about all sorts of other things. Which in turn, became a book. More on this later.
But other than this type of thing, I never furiously type. I'm not that passionate about these things at work. It'll all work itself out. It's not a damn emergency. I'm not here to spend my life. Granted, I do love my job. Well, not my specific tasks, but my current situation. I'm not in the greatest financially from my own poor choices which is nothing new. I am however becoming complacent or perhaps, comfortable with this state. I've become numb to the fear of imminent doom as I've been in this position many times before, more than I care to count and I've come out not only alive, but relatively okay. Maybe this will change who knows. Maybe it's just building to a bigger letdown or breakdown. Who knows! It'll be a wonderfully spectacular surprise.
But people here furiously type like their life depends on it. Perhaps it does. As if their email which has yet to be sent is the most important thing in their life right now. As if the future of the institution hangs in the balance. WHOA! Heavy stuff. That's quite a load to bear. Thankfully, they're doing it for me. Yes, there are things I need to get done, nothing too pressing, but the way I see it, I'll have nothing to do for the rest of this quiet, laid back Monday.
Also, now that I think of it, it's like clockwork. There's a few relaxed days, but usually followed with packed days of hell. Days of "Oh wow, I'm done EVERYTHING! How is this possible?" And the following day will be filled with "Hey did you forget to..." Oh shit. But that's the way my world works. It just is. But it all works out. No need to furiously type. Typing yes, but not furiously. Not as if it's the end of the world. If it is, I don't want that weight on my shoulders.
Or perhaps that's just their standard typing speed, who knows.